The Mind Of A Moron

It went really well yesterday. The crowd was somewhere around 80 plus or minus. I was surprised, I was tyring some things that I didn’t think would work and they did, though some didn’t go as well as planned too I don’t feel I bombed anything. Even some of the other comedians said I did very well, so that was cool.

If you’ve heard my first recording then 80-90% of this is new to you.

So listen for yourself (it’s a wma this time, as it happened it was easier for me to make it that)

So as always your feedback is welcome.

Okay so it’s about time I got some real practice doing standup but where to start? Well I’ve finally found a starting point, I’ll be doing an open mic (I believe they have pro’s after the openmicers as well) at Lafflines its called the Pro Am Night

Here are some details:

Thursday February 23rd at Lafflines
MC: Patrick Maliha
Showtime: 9:00 pm
Price: $10 - friends & family get in for 1/2 price (please have your friends & family call and make reservations to take advantage of the reduced price)

Lafflines is at #26-4th St. New Westminster B.C Phone to reserve: 604-525-2262

So if you’re interested in coming let me know and reserve should be fun, though I only get 5 minutes others should be entertaining as well. And hell maybe just for your amusement I’ll bomb (well, hope not). For those that listened to my mp3 expect 50-70% new stuff.

Okay here is a new cartoon for you, I’ll try to get back into the swing of posting things, if not my others to read just becuase it keeps me sane.

I don’t really have a full thought to share with you so instead I’ve a list of thoughts, questions, and observations.

Have you ever tried complaining about being tried to someone on the east coast, they are always 3 more hours tired than you, its sucks

Is taste a sensation like touch and you could stick your tongue in there and just continue to feel the taste, or does taste get used up and absorbed?

I have this light in my room that is sound activated, so at night after I turn out my main light I stomp to my bed so it lights up with the sound of each stomp and I can see… Sometimes when I’m walking elsewhere in the dark, I find myself stomping as well.

I had a few more things to include here, but they are on a sheet of paper I wrote on in class today and that it to far away from me (bag is downstairs) so it will have to wait.

Last minute addition, I just wrote this to a friend: “If I had a respecto’meter and it was tracking my respect for you (which I don’t and it isn’t), the needle would have taken a nose dive”

I hope I have added even some marginal entertainment to your day.

I do enjoy sitting, in fact I believe sitting in itself to be a legitimate pastime.

One problem I have always had with my sitting endeavours is the pain caused to me by my tailbone. If you’re sitting up straight then it makes very little difference but as soon as you go for a leaning back, *bam* tailbone catches and chair and my comfort ends.

I wonder if we will eventually evolve out of tailbones, for that matter is anyone sure we’re losing them? Have they been measuring over time to make sure the tailbone is the remnants of an old tail, and not the beginning of a new one?

I sure hope they go away, I now consider it a life goal to have my tailbone removed, it would make it easier to sit anywhere, and that would be nice.

Okay so we all know hypnotism is good, and it is definitely powerful, but all we ever see is the bad side of hypnotism and how it can be used against us. It’s time the media stopped portraying hypnotism in such a bad light, and it’s time you asked yourself, “what can hypnotism do for me?”.

…Oh and you know I can answer that.

I imagine a world where everybody is working but on their way to work everyday they stop by a small shop (these shops would be about as common as a Starbucks is now), and oh lets tentatively call them “Hypnotism Prisms” (HP). In the HP you smack your five dollar bill on your counter and order your daily hypnosis, for example:

“Yeah I’d like to think that every time I flip a burger I am actually being pleasured”

The cool thing about that is that the hypnoiss you get encourages you to work hard and while you work hard it is enjoyable (so win win) and of course you wouldn’t realize you worked hard so it’s like your not even working. At the end of the day you punch out your time-card and *ding* hypnosis off. You go home wondering where the past 8 hours of you life went, but at least you don’t remember working hard.

I will expand on this more probably into a three part series, but don’t hold me to that. So don’t go trying and thinking ahead of me to beat me to the punch or I will be saddened.

I think this is a very important issue to everybody, can superheros get paper cuts?

They must be able to right? Wouldn’t it be a little to obvious if Clarke Kent had never had one. For that matter can they stub their toes?

I theorize that the superpower complex only kicks in at a certain amount of pain, so for example just like we get endorphins from large amounts of pain they get powers activated. This makes sense as it allows them to look as normal as possible.

Other questions that need to be raised are things such as, can Superman have needles, or surgeries.

And what if you did like an arm transplant onto Superman, would his superpower take over the arm, or would that arm become his week point? I believe that it would partially become super-powered because it’s his blood running through it.