The Mind Of A Moron

I think headphones are pretty much responsible for all the bad singing in the world these days.

Back before headphones singing went like this.

1. Hear a song
2. Like the song
3. Memorize the lyrics
4. Sing the song to yourself
5. Listen to your own voice and adjust it appropriately
6. If you really suck you hear that, and stop singing

Headphones changed all that. Now people

1. Listen to a song with headphones in
2. Sing along
3. Hear the actual singer’s voice in the headphones while they sing
4. Assume they themselves are good at singing, because while they sing pleasant sounds are heard (due to the headphones)
5. No feedback for voice adjustment or shame is given
6. Shitty singing perpetuates itself

That’s why everyone thinks they are better at singing than they actually are.

A concept invented before, but written again why not.

I have this theory that I only have 10 minutes of personality a week, and I build this up.

I’ve only been building personality for oh, I donno, 3 or 4 years so that’s 52 weeks times 4 years x 10 minutes / 60 (min to hour) = 34.6 hours.

But more than 1/2 of that as expired (personality expires as your identity changes) so I have about 15 hours of usable personalty.

The point is when I first meet someone I just start using personality/topics but as times goes on I start to use faster than I create and after a few weeks (15+ hours of interaction) a run out of things to say… the room goes silent, and I leave, never to speak to that person again.

Is this actually how it works well no not really, but I do tell people “one day I’m gonna run out of things to say”, so if it ever happen, you’ve been warned.

As a very lazy person I am always looking for news ways to relax, and so I’m on a constant quest to find the worlds most comfortable chair.

I know what you’re thinking, “just goto an office store and pop down a few hundred bucks for one” or “I hear lazy-boys are good”, well no, maybe those satisfy the regular user, not me. I need a chair that was designed to set sat in, for hours on end.

It occurs to me, well tell think about it, what chair was meant to be sat in 24/7 that’s right, the wheelchair, it has to be the most comfortable. Also, it’s portable, so you only need one, ever!

Mind you on this logic, hospital beds should be the most comfortable, and that, I doubt.

This is an expanded version of a joke I tried and didn’t hit with, but I like the concept and still consider an important revelation for society to hear, but who knows some things get resurrected.

I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee recently, I do like to taste and this is becoming a problem because when I have it to much it begins to lose it’s effect as a drug. This is really what I want it for so I’ve decided that I will take a break from coffee in order to let my system settle back out, so when I need a jolt I can turn to coffee.

I have tried this strategy with other things and it seems to work, for example stop drinking for a while so it gets cheaper after a few weeks to get smashed. It seems pretty effective so I’ll see how it goes.

In other news I’ve begun working on cartoons again, I have a reserve of nine that just need to be scanned and colored.

What does this all lead me to? I’m going to do Cartoon A Day V.2 starting tomorrow, it will continue for as long as I can, my goal is at least 30 days.

So the world we live in, yeah it’s messed up, and I think we’ve all come to the conclusion that a nuclear holocaust is coming. What will you do when the bomb is coming, we learnt from the Cold War that hiding under ones desk and covering their head was not the answer, so what now, do we run?

Okay so really I’m just pointing out that when this happens we will probably all die, so the question that needs to be asked now is, how do you want to be remembered? When they dig us up from the ashes in 1000 years what pose will you be in. This is no trivial matter, think of Pompey, we know them by their pose, this is the real chance for fame, celebrities will be forgotten in 1000 years for when they dig us up if you’re making a hilarious face while you do a back-flip fingering the world, you can sure as hell bet you’ll get your 15 minutes (albeit after you can appreciate it and reap the rewards).

Or better yet, you could pretend you’re shielding an infant from the blast then they will put you in a museum as a hero.

When this all does happen, there won’t be time to decide what to do, so choose now and for god’s sake practice, because you only get one real try.

(Okay I don’t think a nuke could actually preserve us, but maybe it would trigger a volcano that would to off and cover us thus preserving our shapes, or maybe we’ll be buried in ash and fossilized, I donno, but if it’s my last grab at fame, I’ll take it)

This is one of those things that just hits you and then it makes so much sense. I actually didn’t realize it’s greatness till about five minutes after I said it, I then rushed to grab a pen from my pocket and write this revelation down.
…

HAIL IS THE ULTIMATE FORM OF PRECIPTATION!

Why you ask?

• It doesn’t make you wet
• It doesn’t clog the roads like snow
• Although it is cold, the weather doesn’t have to be cold since hail freezes high up then comes down
• Yet hail still does melt into water so it’s better than no precipitation (droughts are bad)

So clearly hail is the most efficient, comfortable, and dry, form of water delivery. And if you don’t agree, well that’s why I moderate my comments (kidding, unless you show your disagreeance by posting casino ads, then yes I will censor)

First I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much lately I’ve been busy and or preoccupied with other things, leaving me with less sitting and thinking time.

I would like to take this opportunity to inform the word that yes, ringtones are out loud. That is, when people call you, others who are nearby will hear what is on your phone.

It’s far to often when someones phone goes off to some silly song, and their face shoots red with embarrassment as everyone looks at them thinking “wow, I can’t believe that’s their ringtone” and their respect for you whittles away. The thing is the phone owner, is almost shocked when it happens their like “oh me god, I didn’t think anybody would ever hear it”.

And that is why I’m just making it clear that ringtones are out loud.

Okay so we all know hypnotism is good, and it is definitely powerful, but all we ever see is the bad side of hypnotism and how it can be used against us. It’s time the media stopped portraying hypnotism in such a bad light, and it’s time you asked yourself, “what can hypnotism do for me?”.

…Oh and you know I can answer that.

I imagine a world where everybody is working but on their way to work everyday they stop by a small shop (these shops would be about as common as a Starbucks is now), and oh lets tentatively call them “Hypnotism Prisms” (HP). In the HP you smack your five dollar bill on your counter and order your daily hypnosis, for example:

“Yeah I’d like to think that every time I flip a burger I am actually being pleasured”

The cool thing about that is that the hypnoiss you get encourages you to work hard and while you work hard it is enjoyable (so win win) and of course you wouldn’t realize you worked hard so it’s like your not even working. At the end of the day you punch out your time-card and *ding* hypnosis off. You go home wondering where the past 8 hours of you life went, but at least you don’t remember working hard.

I will expand on this more probably into a three part series, but don’t hold me to that. So don’t go trying and thinking ahead of me to beat me to the punch or I will be saddened.